51 Down: Exhale on Three!!!

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Somewhere near the beginning of this journey I vowed that during this challenge I would do a triple and yesterday I did my triple!!!! I did the 0630, 1500, and 2015. I had the day off and instead of lounging around the house and basically seeing my day off work as a green light to pig out and veg I took to the "torture chamber" and loved every single frigging minute. For the first 2 classes I stood at the back near the window. But the final class I reckoned that if I stayed in the back row I wouldn't push myself so I went to the front near the window. And I did 23 out of 26 postures in the 3rd class.

This past week I have started the class with positive intentions during pranayama breathing. Before I used to count 1,2,3,4,5,6  2,2,3,4,5,6  3,2,3,4,5,6 and this used to drag on and to be honest I hated it cos my shoulders ached. My tummy relaxed and my breathing sometimes got shallow instead of getting stronger. This week I decided that when I breathe in I need to think positive with the intake of breath and with the out take exhale the negative.

inhale in self-love, exhale self-hate
inhale self-confidence, exhale low self-esteem, 
inhale can do, exhale can't do
inhale faith, exhale fear
inhale self-preservation, exhale self-destruction


I believe this helped with my triple because when my third and final class of the day was upon me and we were doing the breathing I realised I was breathing in deeper than ever before and at the end of the posture I felt I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR STRONG!!!!  Able to move on for the next 90mins.

Also this week I decided that I am not doing a 60 day Bikram Yoga challenge. Nope I'm going the whole 101 days!

Will I triple it up again??? MOST DEFINITELY.

45 Down: tears

It all started Thursday morning, up til now I have not been able to get the first part of Dandayamana Janushirasana standing head to knee. That morning after my shower I started experimenting after seeing the way a friend of mine got into the posture I thought I'd try it out and what do you know I managed to get into the posture. Granted only for a few seconds but I did it. So I was really looking forward to class that night I was finally going to stand in the first part of the posture and seeing as I can lock my knee I was going to attempt a little kick...yeah I was thinking way ahead of myself but so what!?! In class I did what I had done in the morning and to my disappointment I couldn't for the life of me get into the damn posture!!!! I was so so so disappointed.

This wave of disappointment turned into my emotional release. They say during days 30-60 you feel an emotional release. I was starting to think this was going to pass me by as the emotion I had been feeling was related to my periods. And now over 40 days in I hadn't felt that real emotional release I was starting to think I'm not human and I have no soul... The disappointment of not achieving the 1st part of Dandayamana Janushirasana kicked it off!!! Saturday's class the voice in my head started talking bullshit about my need to be accepted and to be loved and liked by everyone. This escalated when the teacher seemed to talk to everyone but me...(which is not true as she had corrected my half moon pose but my mind negated that). I felt more invisible than ever before and when it came to doing the sit-ups I couldn't exhale too loud just in case the exhale came out as a loud wail. 

Come Sunday class 45 my mind did it all over again. And I was on the verge of giving everything up...what is my reason for doing this challenge? I'm not seeing any changes or improvements in my body and postures and my mind is not quiet or at peace!!!! the whimpering started thankfully I was at the back of the class and I just let it flow over me while moving in the postures. My stillness that day was my tears.

40 down: 5 long tings

Yippie ki-yay I've done 40 classes in 40 days!!! Can I get a whoop whoop!!!!! I can't believe I've done 40 classes already time has flown by. I figured in commemoration of the 40 classes I would write down 5 things that irritate me about doing Bikram yoga day in and day out. It's not meant to be a negative blog post. I just thought I would share.

So here goes:

5 -
 
4 - People who place their sweaty feet on my towel when they are coming out of savasana and turning to face the front of the room. I know I know it can't be helped sometimes...but these are my irritations

3 - People who knowingly sit in a cold spot and say it's too cold when the teacher opens the window!!!! *throwing my hands up in dispair* I have nothing more to say on this matter

2 - washing my yoga gear day in and day out. I feel like all I have is yoga clothes hanging on the rack. And all other laundry has gone to pot. One week I think I've worked out the perfect system only to have it thrown in my face by clothes not drying or me forgetting to do a load.

1- People who talk in class!!! I cannot stand this...as I get easily distracted. I enjoy the quietness of class and hate having it shattered by someone whispering to their neighbour. I know it's evil of me but I actually get a twinge of delight when the teacher says "no talking!!!" and stops the chattering dead in its tracks.

With these irritations especially talking Charlie says I have to make this part of my meditation and work on it not bothering me....

We got a lot of work to do!!!

Oh I know I said 5 and only did 4...I couldn't think of 5.