85 and 86 down: Anxiety

Peeps I'm not sure this can be done...I handed in my schedule to the folks at BYC trying to slip in triples alongside back to back doubles and needless to say I got rumbled hehehe....which I deserved plus I really don't think they would want to be carrying this lump of lard out on a stretcher. After speaking to the lovely Kat and Charlie I walked into class with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. And an 'I can do this' frame of mind. As soon as we started the pranayama breathing I got anxious and I couldn't catch my breath my heart started beating fast....and I was like "well damn looka here it's gonna be like this is it??!!??!!" I had to stop take stock and breathe in gratitude and breathe out anxiety....that didn't work...I started having a conversation with myself...

me 1: I'm gonna leave the room and sit outside for a bit
me 2: if you leave the room they'll say your body is giving up
me 1: no they wont shut up!!
me 2: yep they will...look at you the yoga truck is dragging your carcass across the road
me 1: ok imma sit on the mat for a bit
me 2: go for it but you won't get up again
me 1: sod you i'm sitting down

Just before standing bow I collapsed onto the mat and sat there until standing separate leg stretching pose...attempted that then sat down again until standing separate head to knee (my fav posture even though I still can't get my blooming head to my knee yet) and from then on I was semi alright I didn't leave the room owing to stubborness.

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This morning my carcass was back in the studio with bells on at 630 in the morning. OMG it was amazing so different from last night one of the best classes yet...I was so close to finally getting my hands on the floor with the second part of tree stand on the way to toe standing...YEAH!!!!! I fell out and couldn't get back to it but my tippy fingers touched the ground for a millisecond (incremental changes y'all). I even talked myself into partaking of bow pose and I got into it quicker than usual and held it longer than usual.

Hopefully tonight's class will be as good as this mornings. I hope I didn't jinx it.

84 Down: I'm BAAAACCCKKKKK Y'ALL!!!!!!!

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I stepped into the room after 4 days of being at deaths door (ok I exaggerate). Being back in the heat and doing the 26 postures felt so good. I plonked myself at the back of the class right near the window just in case I passed out or had a coughing fit but none of that happened. On Saturday I did one class and the lovely Fed came up to me during standing forehead to knee...there I was comfortable doing my modified version and he was like "Come on  Nikki you can do it" and I did I finally stood there in the first part of the posture...CAN I GET A WHOOOP WHOOP GRRRR!!!!! Granted I didn't get the full Bikram grip but hey if it takes another 81 days to do this then so be it. But do you know what this incremental step means? It means I'm finally losing inches on my tummy and it also means I'm getting stronger!!!! COME ON!!!!  I decided that in the first set I will do my modified pose then come the second set I will do the first part with strength.

Yesterday I did another back to back double. Why do I keep doing this to myself...honestly I hate back to back doubles my mind sabotages every single posture...I need at least an hours break before the second class.

I'm trying to catch up on the missed days and I still aim to have 101 classes in 101 days so the 10th of December is my cutoff day. The lovely Charlie has banned me from doing triples....but i may end up sneaking some past him....*shrugs shoulders*

I'm so glad to be back bikraming.

81 Down: Man Flu

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I woke up with a sore throat and thought it'll pass soon as I get a hot honey and lemon down my neck...nah it stuck around. So I decided Bikram would sweat it out and get me feeling all healthy again. I pushed myself and got through the class way better than I did on Sunday and I thought yep I've kicked this effing cold in the butt.
I got home gargled with salt and water and even considered doing some urine therapy but I'm not there yet...nuff respect to all the urine therapists out there.

I woke up feeling rough as old boots...throat as if razors were setting up for a residencey. I have decided to not go and practice my 82nd class which means I won't reach my goal of reaching 90 classes by the 29th unless I don a triple or am able to get out of work early on some days. I'm cool with that as I need to listen to my body and rest up. Besides I don't really want to get any of the lovely people at BYC sick so it's best to stay away while I'm at the contagious stage.

So tonight it's off to bed with some baileys as I feel it soothes the throat hot lemon honey and ginger....boooooo

80 Down: Red Red Wine

Last night I met up with a friend who I hadn't seen in ages and the red wine started to flow (only one bottlle) while we nattered on. I really do not think that I had a lot to drink. This was the first time alcohol passed my lips since starting the challenge. I didn't get drunk but I was aware that I might be dehydrated in the morning so whenever I woke up last night I would gulp down some water. I also drank 2 litres before class...but none of this prep helped. Today was the very first time I wished I had not step foot in the studio. I was stiffer than a mofo...I felt heavy and sluggish and stiff. A headache took hold about a half hour before class ended. I wasn't hungover...well I didn't think I was hungover but man oh man...yeah with Christmas coming up I don't think I'll be partaking in the red juice anytime soon if I'm going to feel like this.

78 and 79: All I Want for Christmas is a YOGA BUM

So I managed to get to the Saturday class and banged out a back to back double. I have decided I don't like back to backs I'd rather have a break in the middle then come back for more a few hours later.

The lovely Andy was telling us how we have to be patient when it comes to doing the postures cos yoga is about patience and letting the body do what it do. I thought to myself as I stared down my body "yep patience is what I need and what I most definitely don't have because I don't see my yoga bum emerging!!!! Isn't it meant to be here yet?" After reading up on the process your body goes through the last 90 days of class is when your body finally starts to take shape. Ya well I'm not seeing no shape changing and I'm starting to get a tad bit distressed and irritated. I know I know I shouldn't just be doing yoga to see changes in my body and I know that a lot of people don't see yoga as a means to weight loss but I do and I have seen results on the scale. Now I just want to see results in my shape. So if patience is the key to seeing the changes all I want for Christmas is the beginning of a yoga bum!

77 Down: Bring it on!!!

Last night class was...well... it was...all I can do is shake my head at the thought of it. Soon after Eagle Pose my heart started to beat like a mofo and it didn't calm down for a second. I thought I was going to have a mini heart attack. I found myself unable to do triangle as much as I hate that posture I do always try to attempt it. On the belly down series I thought I was going to beat a hole in the floor with my heartbeat!...But somewhere in the back of my mind I heard Joe Swanson from family guy shouting "BRING IT ON!!!"... that didn't make my class stronger but I tried to do at least one of each posture with the exception of bow pose which I have now come to utterly detest.

Truth be told I'm scared of going to my next class which may be tonight as I can't do Saturday...we'll see if I can get off work early.

That being said I have decided to finally do the post about 5 things I love about Bikram Yoga. For I know my friend Cassandra is reading this saying why the hell di you love Bikram if you go through torture. So Cass this is for you.....

5.people outside of the yoga studio have told me my skin is glowing...gotta love a compliment.

4. I love that competitive spirit...it's not competing with anyone else except myself for I know I can do better. On days I consciously go into class and dig deep my postures are like BOOM...WHAT YOU CAN'T TELL ME NOTHING!!!! You see the improvements bit by bit and nothing can take that feeling of accomplishment away.

3. Sometimes I walk into the studio feeling depressed and worthless...I come out feeling like a million bucks!

2. Unconsciously practicing yoga when you are doing mindless tasks like brushing your teeth. While waiting for the kettle to boil I've found myself standing on my tippy toes doing awkward pose and wishing that I could do that one posture with my shoes on in class. Cos I can stand high on my tippy toes with my shoes on.  Why does it feel easier and deeper to do standing bow at work while waiting for the elevator to come when no one is around?

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1.The feeling I get after camel pose...granted I can't get into the full expression yet and can only get my fingertips on my heels in the second set. I love the whoosh head rush and the heart beating so fast but my breathing is calm...I LOVE it.

(This list is in no particular order except for number 1.)

76 Down: sweat sweat and more frigging sweat

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The last two classes I've noticed that I'm sweating like a frigging pig....granted Bikram is a sweat-athon but honestly this feels really really weird... I've noticed that by the end of class my towel is grossly squidgy with sweat and 10mins after class I'm still dripping as if I'm still doing the poses. It is really bugging me. I'm putting it down to changes on cellular level... and this must be some kind of deeper cellular transformation that I'm going through. Please Lord let it end soon cos it ain't cute. Not that you can look cute at bikram sweat all in your eyes and stuff but you get my drift.

73 down: To drink or not to drink

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This is the second time I have been shut up with shock at bikram. Each time it applies to coconut water. I LOVE LOVE LOVE ME SOME COCONUT WATER, especially after a hot humid class. After classes like that Cocofina is my drink of choice...owing to the sweetness. When I have double classes within a short space of each other or don't feel I have hydrated myself enough throughout the day I simply adore the taste of Vita Coco it's so so so gooooood.
The first time I was waiting to go into class and one of the girls at the desk was looking at the cartons of coconut water and said something to the effect of "I wonder how many calories are in this hmmmm let me see...." Yesterday in the changing rooms one girl looked at the back of the carton and said there is 20g of sugar in this...omg!!!
What the heck is wrong with these people?!?!?! It does make one wonder why people will reach for a can of coke and not question it's sugar content and its lack of health benefits. But when it comes to drinking something that is healthy for you the questions start flowing.

71 Down: Water FAIL

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Today I couldn't resist the call for water. I managed to hold out until we got down to the floor but the call was too strong. The sound of people opening their bottles just had me reaching for my water bottle. Since around my 15th class I have not been drinking water while on the mat. Through out the day I have been drinking approx 3 litres so I believe I'm proper hydrated before I go into the room...thus not having water be my distraction and I am a firm believer that it doesn't cool me down it just uses up energy if I sip and sip and sip away in class...so I only drink water once we have finished the final breathing exercise.
But today was a different story I was sooooooo thirsty soooo very thirsty. I did chastise myself once I took my first sip. At least I didn't collapse with thirst. Maybe I shouldn't take my water bottle into class...hmmmm

66 down: Namaste

About 2 weeks ago Helen put this up on the wall in the yoga studio. I simply love it.

Namaste is such a beautiful word. One meaning that resonates with me is "the light in me acknowledges the light in you".

Lately I have been surrounding myself with people who lift me up and I hopefully lift them up as well. This challenge has made me realise that no matter what negativity is going on in your life it is always better to put a positive spin on things...cos honestly there is no need to be down or bring people down with you.

I was talking to my lovely cousin Sue over the weekend...and I was going on about how I really don't know what I want to do in my life and how I thought this journey would somehow make clear to me my role in this world. She in turn told me not to say I don't know what I want, but to say I am rediscovering who I am and what I want out of life! I LOVE that I am on a journey of rediscovery and yes it is going to take more than 101 days. But so far on this journey I have discovered friendships and rediscovered a love for self. The adventure continues.

Namaste peeps x

60 Down: 41 to go

Oh my days I have been slacking on this here blog and I apologise.
So I've done 60 classes in 61 days. I tried to do 60 in 60 but I couldn't make my Sunday class due to moments of indecision... plus the bus not showing up for 20mins was not good and when it did it was too full the bus driver refused to open the doors to let passengers on and drove off. By that time I knew I wouldn't have made it to class on time. No worries.... my goal for the next 30 days is to complete my 90th class on the 90th day! So by the 29th of November I should be at that goal.

I can't believe 60 days has flown by so quickly. Have I noticed changes? Physically kind of sort of but not really. Mentally so so. My head feels clearer and my intentions are stronger. I must admit that last week one of the reasons for my silence was because I felt that my little world was falling apart. I wasn't emotional on the mat but outside my brain was ticking over and over. As most of you know I am not happy with where I am at in my life and have seen a regression, if not stagnation, instead of progress in all aspects of my life....health,relationships, and work. And this 60 day (now 101 day) challenge came about so I could get out of the stagnant state and get movement and change flowing in my life once again.